I have a lot of relationships that are mostly about sex, without a lot of deep personal connection. Currently I have a friendship with a lot of really deep personal connection, but no sex (sexual tension, sure, but no sex). None of these is a Relationship with a capital R and Monogamy, and I’m so completely cool with that. I’m a little cautious about monogamy, especially after what happened with Sam. Not having a lot at stake with one person allows me the space and emotional distance to heal while still getting my considerable emotional and physical needs met.
I think sexual tension is one of those things that’s really underrated. Maybe it’s because my sex life is all about the instant gratification these days but I’m really enjoying this slow burn of mutual attraction and unconsummated desire that permeates my friendship with Seth, this guy I met while swing dancing (remember him?). We seem to have really clicked as friends, and its wonderful to have someone seek out my company as much as I seek out theirs. I’m in a really deep rut right now, and it’s hard to see how I’ll pull myself out, but he’s really been there for me in a way that’s both emotionally satisfying and objectively helpful. Throwing sexual tension on top of that makes everything energized and invigorating. I could barely get out of bed this morning, and now I feel like I can tackle the world again. It’s wonderful.
There’s not really a point to this post. Sexual tension and mixed with solid friendship makes me happy I guess. I’m just going to leave behind this post from Graydancer; a lovely and hot piece that perfectly what I’m talking about and how I feel about the whole thing.